Darby and Joan Gig. Crofton

by Philip Barr. Photo’s Phil, Richard Video Stan Hollins

The venue – Crofton WMC.

The location – Slack Lane; however, there was to be no slacking from Wakeylele as they entertained the Darby and Joan club in fine style to dispel the gloom of a dank November afternoon.  When I arrived at 1:30 the car park was already rammed and after a forced retreat to search for a suitable alternative along with others, we entered the club to find a lively scene with most of the band already in place on a raised platform with available space at a premium. As a result, in threading my way to the back I nearly came a cropper when losing my balance and had Mike S to thank for propping me up, the only damage being done in crushing a fez, more of which later.

Final sound checks, orchestrated by our chief sound engineer, Dave Burgess, were completed and David, making a very professional job in his role as compere for the afternoon, started proceedings with a seamlessly smooth introduction and we were off accompanied by a very enthusiastic and sizeable audience who ‘shook it all about.’ At the risk of making our leader’s head swell I should also point out that as well as being our director of music and comedian, he can now be referred to as a singer/ songwriter with his new lyrics to ‘Side by Side’.  But…this is not a one-man band, witness the lovely harmonies on display along with decent uke playing during ‘Any Dream Will Do’. Roy then rolled back the years with his interpretation of ‘Teenager in Love’ which Marty Wilde would have been proud of.

More variety and nonsense was then added to the afternoon’s eclectic repertoire with a raucous version of ‘Three Wheels on My Wagon’. For the stand alone spoken ‘duet,’ David conjured up his best Roger Taylor – esque falsetto tones; that’s Queen’s musician of course, not the tennis player of yesteryear. Meanwhile Peter A, shy and retiring violet that he is, not, played the male lead part with a relish and glint in his eye which in contemporary society would most likely result , in ‘a domestic’.

Peter A, right, about to shout the male part of ‘Three Wheels…”. Not sure why Peter J, bottom left, is on his knees.

The, hopefully, popular and varied menu continued and the audience could have been forgiven in thinking that they were about to hear a medley of Tommy Cooper gags when the band suddenly produced a set of fezzes and added a bit of absurdity to ‘Don’t Jump off the Roof Dad’ which had been fine-tuned during Tuesday’s rehearsal. Even so, by the end I think there were several band members who actually did feel like jumping off the roof. We ended the first set with a rousing rendition of ‘It’s Now or Never’ and the feeling that things were going quite well.

At this point, we were invited to either get a beer or cappuccino at the bar or wait for tea, coffee and buns to be brought to us in the main hall. When the fairy cakes and buns did arrive, it was noticeable that a fair-sized group was hovering expectantly, waiting to pounce like vultures on their favourite cake or in David Burgess’s case a plate of cakes. He claimed he needed to feed his cold, a likely story just like this sentence. The other highlight of the interval was when John Wrigglesworth offered his banjolele to 94-year-old virtuoso, Lionel, only to have it promptly rejected as being out of tune! Young John took this very well, considering, and an acceptable alternative instrument was found on which Lionel showed there was still life in the old dog yet as he nonchalantly played and sang a few bars of ‘Cleaning Windows’.

Earlier we had sung Happy Birthday to him, only for the MC to request the same again for Josie and others besides!

The afternoon’s fun resumed with David adding one or two more self-deprecating jokes about ukulele players before launching yet again into that old chestnut, featuring Coconuts before the mood changed with the band giving an assured performance of Love Potion Number 9, which I would guess has become quite popular with the majority of players. Then it was time for another solo with Pippa excelling with ‘Only You,’ David providing the riff and the band adding variety in between. The audience was suitably impressed. Buoyed by this reaction, and with a further coaxing from David to play our signature Willy Nelson number without resorting to the sheet music, we pulled out all the stops and it is a pity that there isn’t a video to view on this occasion as I surmise there would be a goodly number of players who make regular eye – contact with the audience throughout.

There was to be no let-up in enthusiasm after this with Sue once more giving her usual powerful performance of ‘The Carnival is Over’; who needs a mike anyway? This was followed with another crowd favourite from the Fisherman’s Friends film and then a ‘new’ one – ahem – (1895),  Waltzing Matilda which Kylie isn’t best known for. This, again, was met with the very opposite of derision by the merry crowd who by this time were threatening to clamber on to the table-tops to air their inhibitions.

The icing on the cake at this point, complementing this song, was to see Dave F’s unfinished version of his Aussie corked hat, featuring no less than…three corks. To say it was a corker of a hat would be a slight exaggeration but it caused much mirth and sniggering and it only seemed fitting, for this particular audience at least, to finish by bashing out the Old Time Medley accompanied by more vigorous rattling and shaking of the percussion instruments loaned to our eager punters. 

Cries of ‘more’ were ignored (chortle) and as the baying of the crowd subsided, we received a generous thank you from our host, followed shortly after by one from another committee member although in this case we were referred to as Wakeyleladies; maybe David will have rediscovered his manly voice by Sunday.

Whatever the gender issues, we enjoyed the friendly hospitality and enthusiastic response from our hosts and audience. Thanks also once more to our leader for his unstinting efforts, to our chief sound engineer who made sure that Pippa didn’t sound like Tuesday’s dalek and to Richard for liaising with ‘Darby and Joan.’  As we departed the clubhouse, we heard the strains of Eyes down’ ringing in our ears – that surely couldn’t be David   exhorting us to avoid looking at the audience, could it?

Next up – no rest for the wicked – Farmer Copley’s near Pontefract on Sunday, arriving at 10: 30 am in time to observe the 2-minute silence of Remembrance Day prior to playing.